Imagine you’re on a play ground and you place a giant, old-school teeter-totter. It is bright yellowish and it also rises well above the head from the upside. You appear all over play ground, find an individual who appears well ideal to be your spouse, and together you rise on your opposing seats. Falling and rising, you bounce down and up, experiencing the trip. Experiencing confident that you and your spouse are finding a good rhythm, you tuck your legs up off the floor, trusting that the total amount and rhythm will stay. Then, simply from you and on their way back to the ground, turns their legs to the side, and casually rolls off their seat as they touch the ground as you begin to relax in your new position, your partner, across. Full of the atmosphere on the other hand it hits you: you are going to come crashing down.
For Dr. Scott Stanley, an investigation professor of marital and family members studies through the University of Denver, that’s the metaphor of preference when explaining exactly what he calls “asymmetrically committed relationships.